whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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