it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
