I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
