i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
