It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
