how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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