i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
