But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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