How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
