what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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