I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
