I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
