I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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