oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize