You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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