just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
