Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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