I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
