Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
