i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
