i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
