i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
