Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
