i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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