Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
