Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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