Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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