walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Terrible idea I love it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
