She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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