I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
