I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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