Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You've changed since you got that strap on
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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