plz talk dirty to me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
