like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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