that's an acceptable place to lick
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
