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• (316): View more from Kansas

  sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.

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• (914): View more from New York

  How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

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• (408): View more from California

  This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.

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• (585): View more from New York

  And I feel bad.

  (716): View more from New York

  Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I think pants incapable of making pants work

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