i just google imaged poop.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
