A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
