Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
