We're like a lot better than the average bears
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
