wakey wakey hands off snakey
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
