Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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