1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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