the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
