I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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