they need to just BURY HIM!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
