insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
