the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
