I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
