Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
