He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
