I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
