He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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