But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
