That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
