Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
