wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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