ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
