Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
