On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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