Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
